 During
the 1994 National Unity debate, Lucien Bouchard made
headlines when he predicted Quebec's separation would
lead to the swift fall of English Canada to American
invasion .
And
then these odd French-only V8 posters mysteriously began
to appear in downtown Toronto ...
Anglophone
Canadians trembled recently when Lucien Bouchard revealed
a secret American plan to annex Western Canada in the
wake of Quebec separation.
And
while the Bloc Quebecois Leader later denied making
such statements (by arguing "I would be crazy.
Am I crazy? Am I crazy? Do I look crazy?"), his
skilled rhetoric came too late to quell Anglo anxieties.
I
make this observation after having seen not one, but
three French-only V8 advertisements in the Wellesley/Yonge/Church
streets area: an obvious bid to placate French-speaking
vegetable juice drinkers.
The
area chosen for this campaign is a common site for bold
and experimental advertising. The wall painting of Cat
Woman at Yonge and Wellesley attracted a great deal
of attention, and TTC ridership increased greatly at
Church and Wellesley when the transit shelter there
posted a nicely photographed ad for Toronto's only lesbian
strip club.
With
such a tradition of liberality it's no wonder that this
area has been chosen for the latest "My Canada
Includes More Than Your Canada" campaign.
The
posters, which hang outside a couple of convenience
stores, show two people, each drinking a V8. Underneath
is the phrase "V8 est a notre gout," which
I believe means "V8 prevents gout" —
although I am unable to confirm this as my translator
isn't talking to me until she determines whether or
not Bouchard is, in fact, crazy.
Nevertheless,
such a translation makes sense as a ploy to hold onto
Quebec. Rich French cooking has been known to cause
gout; V8 prevents gout. Subtextually, what the ads are
saying is that no matter what Quebec wishes to dish
up, we'll eat it.
At
the top of the ad is the word "Sante!" which
is probably French for "Sanity." What clearer
message could we send to Quebec as a plea for Canadian
unity? Protesters will storm Ottawa chanting: "My
Canada includes Sanity!" and "V8 prevents
gout!"
It's
this kind of unambiguous sloganism that has served so
well in forcing carefully planned political action in
the past.
Nor
should we, as do some, take lightly the threat of separation.
While many commentators have pointed out various problems
that could arise should Quebec choose independence,
M. Bouchard has, in fact, openly stated what the rest
of us have hardly dared even think: that with Quebec
gone there would be nothing to prevent an American invasion.
Surely even the most politically naive have known that
the only reason Canada has not already been invaded
is because of the States' natural reluctance to saddle
itself with the problem of Quebec nationalists.
And
so it is with many thanks that we salute V8's selfless
effort to do its part in keeping Canada together. I'd
like to end with one of those rousing French slogans,
but I just called my translator and she still hasn't
determined Bouchard's mental stability.
Some
mysteries may never be solved.
Reprinted
from the June 14, 1994 issue of The Outrider.
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